Connection

I often feel like I am slogging through these days with the weight of my own forward movement on my shoulders.  While that is not the true reality, the feeling is with me until I make some meaningful connection.  I have recently been aware of a deep spiritual longing to connect.  Even though I may not feel a connection with others or in my home space, eventually I do feel connected with the energy of Source.  When that happens the heavy slog feeling disappears, and all of the elements of my life are brought together in a connected and unified way.  This reconnection feels like a gift from the Universe. Sometimes when I just don't have the energy to make a connection, that connection will come to me unexpectedly and effortlessly.  I am always surprised by this, and it brings me Joy in a big way.  We are not alone in this world.  We are moving through stressful times, and there are many ways we are able to make a meaningful connection.  Loving Presence customizes and provides what we most need, exactly at the time we need it.  We are here to receive the caring gift, and to be uplifted on our life path.

"Spiritual connection is our ability to intuitively understand something that impacts our soul and gives meaning to our lives.  Some people experience spiritual connection by having a relationship to the Creator...and all living things."

                            -- We R Native articles

Resource

I'm feeling drawn to this word, this idea.  I feel like I am opening to resource(s) in new ways.  Our Loving Creator has provided us with unlimited resources to be able to thrive in this world.  It is our task to connect with these provisions through tangible and intangible practices.  And we are asked to receive and utilize them wisely.

One of the most important resources available to us is Love.  Love is a resource that will never run out.  Our world is so out of balance that, collectively, we are not able to fully receive this resource--in fact, we push it away.  If we, as humans, could receive even a small amount more of this lavish resource, then a new balance would be created in the world.  Each of us has a heart, mind, and body--a receptacle--that can contain the vastness of Love.  It is our responsibility to clear away all of the layers that have prevented us from receiving this Love and from thriving on this planet Earth.  Once we receive more Love, then more Love can be shared between us and our cohabitants on Earth.  It is time for Love to burst out of our hearts' fullness and spread across our world.

"Love cures people--both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."

                    --Karl Menninger   

"My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together."

                    --Desmond Tutu        

Door Opening

In my present change process I have been in an "in-between" place.  Not a comfortable space for me, but an important space to honor and to have patience with.  Still, in just the past few days the energy has shifted.  I feel like a doorway is opening.  The path beyond it is unclear and Unknown to me.  But I can see the light streaming in through the crack of the opening.

Not always easy, this change time has been one of becoming more comfortable with uncertainty.  So while much is unclear about what will happen on the other side of the doorway, I feel uncharacteristically calm and expectant about my next steps.  A wonderful change has happened that has prepared me to walk gently and easily through this doorway into the Unknown.  I will stay open so that I can step forward with grace and in peace. 

"Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls."

                       --Joseph Campbell       

The Present

The present--it's a gift we give to ourselves.  Life sometimes flies with amazing speed.  We have many things to do, places to go.  It's easy to get swept up in the momentum.

This morning I sat on my couch briefly to check my phone.  I was doing the usual catch-up when my kitty Cassie came to sit on my lap.  She has done this before, with her napping and me scrolling on my phone or reading a book or the paper.  Today I was petting her soft fur when it occurred to me that this could be an incredible opportunity for bonding, for connecting, for healing touch.  So I put my phone down.  I gently massaged her little bones, gave her warm touch, and smoothed her fur with my hand.  I did this with the intention of nothing more than being present with another being.  As I did this I was filled with warmth and Love.  She fully received my Presence.  I truly felt how precious the energy was in our bonding.  All of the items on my day's agenda fell away.  There was no other attention except the sitting, connecting, warm contact and Being.  I feel like I have experienced this "being" many times before, but today the alive awareness seemed to be elevated to a level I had not known before.  So... wonderful.

All of this just served to demonstrate to me what this life is all about.  That there is nothing more important than Love.  And love grows out of what we put our energy and attention on.  Just those few minutes (maybe an hour) of stopping and connecting fully with my self and my kitty showed me that we are here to fully embody ourselves in the Present moment   That Love flourishes when we do this.  When we give ourselves the gift of the present moment, we are then able to share that "present" with other beings around us--large, small, animal, mineral, vegetable, and certainly human.  This is what Life asks of us.  We are here to do and to BE on our earth journey.  Love flows through all of this.

"It always pays to dwell slowly on the beautiful things--the more beautiful, the more slowly."

                               --Atticus             

   

Life

I feel like I am finally ready to reflect on the events of the past months of May, June, and July.  In early May I was offering support to my next door neighbor of 9 years who was in some depression from her bipolar disorder.  She and I had conversations in passing, and I checked in on her from time to time.  In early June this round of depression for her had gone much deeper. She was needing assistance, but she was also refusing to accept many offers of help.  I did what I could, but she was also deeply troubled.  In mid-June she committed suicide with her gun.  I am the one who found her around 4:00 in the afternoon, a couple of days after she had died.  This experience has rocked me to the core.  It took many days/weeks for me to deal with the PTSD from this event.  And it required lots of conversations and hours of processing with neighbors and friends for me to bring myself back to a place of calm.  After my neighbor's memorial early this month I am now feeling more resolved and less affected by this experience.

Prior to this I had not been close to the experience of suicide. There is so much fallout that is unknown to anyone who has not been touched by it.  One important piece for me to address was the need to dispel the doubt I had about my actions and involvement.  I received a gift at the end of this day of crisis.  The officer in charge came to my door with some final pieces of information before he left.  He told me kindly, "You did all the right things."  I felt a huge weight lifted, and I felt so grateful and affirmed by this.  Another unexpected piece was that I needed to assist my kitty with her own version of post-traumatic stress, since she had heard the gunshot.  She struggled with the noises through the 4th of July.

So now on this side of it, I see that I am a much stronger person because of this life experience.  My return to balance, after going from normal life to the darkest human levels in an extremely short amount of time, has required me to lean on my solid inner foundation and on the love of the Creator.  I have found a level of COURAGE that I didn't know I possessed.  Life brings us experiences that push us to realize and claim our strength, so that we can continue forward even better equipped than we were before.  I feel solid and good about my life. I feel well-prepared as I open the door wide for what is yet to come.

"Choose life, only that and always and at whatever risk.  To let life leak out, to let it wear away by the mere passage of time, to withhold giving it and spreading it is to choose nothing."

               --Sister Helen Kelly

     

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Truth/Trusting

We are all on a journey.  We are being washed together through the churning waves of change, gradually toward a more peaceful shoreline.  All of us are needed, and we're moving in these moments of time according to each person's unique life purpose.  We are being encouraged to trust in the idea that this collective process is moving naturally, organically, and in a way that will eventually allow us to live in greater harmony with ourselves, with each other, and with the complex world around us.

In my own life, much of my life purpose has been to find the truth of my life, and to live my truth and life fully.  The more I have found that truth, the more my ability to trust has grown. This trust in my life process has given me a foundation of constancy, stability and calm.  Those qualities are serving me well as I move through these ever-shifting days.  I am able to stay centered and grounded--a powerful gift.

"I am in the pursuit of truth.  If beauty is a result of that, so be it.  I will not pursue beauty to the exclusion of truth."

                        --Sue Whitacre, title from one of my paintings

"So trust the process of your life unfolding, and know with certainty, through the peaks and valleys of your journey, that your soul rests safe and secure in the arms of God."

                        --Dan Millman 

  

She'll Flower

Today I am being prompted to write about my uncertain life.  I have been moving through some changes that feel like they are taking me into definitely Unknown territory.  I have experienced a lot of irrational fears coming up--all to be released.  And now, after one of the most challenging weeks of my life I am feeling the reassurance that is promised in this post title.

I had found a photo of my shell flower in bloom on one of my phone apps. So I decided to email it to myself so that I could transfer it to my laptop.  In the process, as I was typing the subject line of the email, it came out "She'll Flower."  I didn't notice this when I sent the email, but I did muse about it when I saw it later.  Now these recent events and large changes are taking me on a wild ride into the Unknown.  I am aware of a swirling of energies that whispers in my ear that "the game is afoot," as Sherlock Holmes would say.  That things are about to get exciting and interesting.  So while I have been languishing in some recent challenges that tested my temerity, this confident message has come in to swoosh me forward.  It says "You passed the test for courage, and it's time to move on."  I heartily accept this invitation to adventure.  Bring it!

"Adventure is the bridge between dreams and reality.  When we walk across that bridge, we can explore the unknown and uncover hidden wonders."

                          --Unknown     

A Shifting Tide

I am seeing small signs of a tide shifting.  I feel like the repetitious patterns of turmoil in the world are giving way to some experiences of lightness.  Personally, I am receiving unexpected gifts, and I'm realizing that essential things I need in these moments are simply and easily being  provided.  Also, I am seeing positive shifts in people around me.  I see more openness and compassion.  Not in every case, but enough to hint at a different flow of energy and a nod to our world transitioning out of a dark place.  These are all changes for good in the midst of the chaos being expressed daily in the world.  I feel joy and gratitude for this new awareness. 

"I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the new."

                                --Louise Hay  

Lightening the Load

We are in a time of unquestionably needing to lift ourselves out of past patterns.  Anything that creates a drag on this process is no longer contributing in a constructive way.  More than just spring cleaning, I feel like this is a time of deep clearing. We must clear the way and make space for a new kind of living, for a lighter form of energy to emerge and thrive.  Anything residual that is in the way of our best progress and greatest health has got to go.  This is a time when we have to remove all dead weight.  It's okay to let go of things you thought you wouldn't choose to, or thought you would never be able to.  That is the best action for this present time.  I like the word jettison.  It concisely describes my current need to clear.  The original definition of this word meant "to lighten a vessel to improve its stability in an emergency" (Dictionary.com).  Other definitions included the words "superfluous" and "encumbering."  All of these concepts are important to consider in the process of clearing.  Also, I like that the word "jet" is part of this word.  I think of the speedy jet energy that will come when old weight is released.  I am ready for lighter days ahead!

"Sometimes it is necessary to let something go simply because it is too heavy."

                             --Fiona Childs

 

        

Flow of Change

These days and times are feeling very fluid to me.  I missed my post in March because so much was shifting and in flux.  My current experience is one of chronological time merging with fluid activity, causing these days to unfold in their own way, in their own time, on a Higher timeline schedule.  Linear time is becoming wavy time, moving like a meandering river, sometimes flowing out of its banks.  This feels so right to me, because we are beginning to see the shift from polarized life to whatever the alternative life looks like.  In my own life, my inner characters have made peace and they are working together, even if that process is in its early growth stages.  My own position is to stay open to this flow of change, to stay centered and grounded, and to allow for continual change and movement.  Everything is unfolding as it has been organically created to do so.  We are the facilitators of change and the holders of space.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance."

                                --Alan Watts

"You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy."

                                --C. JoyBell      

Keeping On

These days feel to me like times of distraction and chaos. That isn't the only reality, but it's the one that continually invites me to be pulled into.  I sometimes choose to ignore the noise and upheaval.  Still, I find that I can manage these days best if I stay connected to my deep inner self and stay true to my heart.  

Since this is often easier said than done, I reflected on activities that work to keep me grounded within myself. These practices came to mind when I listened for ways to stay balanced in the midst of Large Change:

*Spend time in nature and notice the true beauty of the natural world.  I can let this energy soothe and nourish me.

*Pay attention to moments in my day that allow me to have an awareness of Radiance.  I'll watch how the sun illuminates every small or large thing and brings warmth on chilly days.  Receiving someone's smile has the same effect.

*Cultivate satisfaction and joy in my life.  I can choose to participate in the things that I love to do and keep my creative self alive and happy.

*Fill my heart with Love.  By inviting in and expressing my love of Spirit, loved ones, pets, plants, friends and neighbors.

I am an advocate for each individual moving closer every day to the person that I/we most want to be. That is our true self and our reason for being. It feels like that's what we came here to do in Life.  Enjoy yourself and the path you are walking.

"Grandfather says this: 'Being strong...means to keep looking for the answer though the darkness of despair is all around.  It means to cling to hope for one more heartbeat, one more sunrise.  Each step takes you closer to the top of the hill, closer to the light of the next sunrise, and the promise of a new day.'  Grandfather says this:  'Keep going.' " 

                 --Joseph M. Marshall III     

  

   

 

Regroup and Reset

Okay, what just happened? It's February today, and January flew like the wind!  So I'm catching up on my January post now.  This last month felt like a time of release and reset.  For me, so many energies and thoughts passed through and away.  And then new feelings and experiences of Love and Purpose flooded in.  In our area we had a very intense ice storm about mid-month that whittled everything down to the essentials.  Without electricity for several days It was a time of reckoning:  what's most important, what can I do without, and where do I go from here?  While all of those questions are still simmering, I was able to feel very peaceful and protected during that weather event.  And so it is, as we trek into this new year, already filled with world chaos.  These shifting times are insisting that we make choices about where we focus our attention and our energies.  I am personally choosing to put my energies into the feelings of peace and provision that I experienced during our ice storm.  No matter what events happen in our world, we have choice about how we will respond to them.  Do we want to participate in anxiety and fear, or do we want to nurture and live in the security of knowing that there is a peaceful foundation available to all?  We are all connected--to each other, and to our Source.  Now is a good time to bring our best energies to the people and situations that we encounter in daily life.  Life is good, and it can always be well-lived.

"Live your life in your own unique way and be true to yourself."

                 --Josei Toda

"You don't always need a plan.  Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens."

                 --Mandy Hale