A New Story

I am opening to a new way of Being.  I am creating a new story.  I am believing that the Universe conspires to assist me, walking with me to my place of fulfillment.  I am no longer wearing the old, heavy cloak of disappointment.  I am taking on a mantle of lightness and joy, of peace and prosperity.  Each day will show me how this story is being created.  For now, I am trusting that my new life is under construction.

"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable."

                        --Mary Oliver    

Season of Letting Go

My story is one of going from victim to victory, from tragedy to triumph.  Amazing miracle, really.  I have kept my story to myself as I moved through a lifetime of creative, expressive, and alternative healing.  I now know that this holding of my story was out of  protection--first for my self and my process--then out of protection of other people who might not want to hear and know this story.  Today I am clear that I no longer need to to be the keeper of this story.  Every step forward for me has been a step toward freedom.  I am now fully free and whole.  For me to continue to carry this story would mean that I would be keeping myself bound by the secrecy.  Those days are over.  It's time for me to fully be who I AM, and this story has profoundly shaped my life and my being.  I now release this story into the world.

I know my story is hard to hear, disturbing, and will not be believed by everyone. My story begins in my 20's after a failed marriage, and after teaching 2 years of public school art.  I was living my "normal" young life.  I was enjoying the adventure of living by myself, pursuing further art studies at a university, and making a variety of good friendships.  Later, in my early 30's I was still on my own, creating my own artwork, working with a therapist on relationship issues, and enjoying the company of a wonderful group of supportive friends.  This combination of life circumstances created the safe space for a long-suppressed memory to make its way to the surface.  I became conscious of a one-time incident of sexual abuse committed against me by my father, when I was just a toddler.  My pain and angst were immediate.  Shame was the overriding shadow.  So many horrific feelings passed through along with turbulent sobs of pain and grief.  And then I was left with the long healing journey.  My process of healing covered decades, and it consisted of:  art as an expressive outlet for understanding the stages and steps on my path, therapy for sorting out the layers, and friends for spiritual support and helping me to see things in a different light.  As a result of  the creative and holistic healing I experienced with my friends, I was ushered through my trauma and pain.  My healing process eventually became self-sustaining, and my newly found strength allowed for much wisdom to come to me and through me.  A radical move in my later life to the Pacific Northwest has allowed for a final completion of this large healing of my self and soul.

With the help of Source, I have overcome all obstacles that resulted from the fallout of this early crushing blow to my spirit and tender self.  I can say with confidence that I am now a fully integrated, whole and happy person, living a peaceful and satisfying life.

So now begins the rest of my life.  I am embarking on a new path of expressing who I AM in the world, as part of the Universe.  This path is forming and unfolding as I focus on all of the things I love--art, fun, time to just BE, earth connecting, and all parts of Nature, especially plants and animals. I celebrate all of the wonder and bounty that surrounds us.  I love playing and creating with other people on their paths.  I love celebrating and honoring the days, seasons, cycles, patterns, and joys of our lives.  I love having an unlimited curiosity that brings me joy and humility as I explore all of Life.  And so it is that I partner with All That Is.